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May 15 2015


Okay, real talk, I’m always so impressed by people who speak English as a second/third/fourth language on tumblr because you don’t just know English, you also know English chatspeak which is a whole crazy thing in itself. You guys come here and are like “omg lol memes” and it impresses the fuck out of me that your knowledge of this language is so great that it extends to abbreviations and really specific stuff and wow wow wow I wish I could speak a foreign language.

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Yes, we should be happy-ish that Niall had some decency and didn’t try to buy off a 14 yr old girl once he knew her age.  Telling her he was going to take her out / buy her a whiskey after it was confirmed she was 14 is still creepy, though, and totally unnecessary since it should be clear that that can’t and should not happen.  You can compliment a girl without any romantic or sexual implications. You can make the argument that buying a whiskey doesn’t have implications for some cheeky ass lad like Niall, but lbr people. :\ 

I wanna talk about something more important anyway.

There are tons of studies out there about the sexualization of young girls and how early sexualization, as well as early puberty, can be detrimental to self-esteem, increase ‘risky behaviors,’ and can inhibit one’s emotional regulation.  More so, these studies have shown that early-maturing girls, specifically, are affected negatively by such a phenomenon. This goes back to the misogyny tumblr likes to constantly advocate against; that girls have expectations to perform and please men.  

Looking older gains shallow approval from creeps and also starts placing expectations on these girls who might not actually be cognitively ready for this attention.  Early maturing girls are often placed in riskier situations for their age–they’re invited into sexual acts, to use drugs, etc.  But though their hormones have made them look older, studies have shown that the area of the brain used for decision making, impulse control, and foresight are some of the last areas of the brain to develop. Fighting misogyny as an adult is hard, that’s why we should start educating and protecting our girls as son as possible.

Now let me be perfectly clear: I’m not blaming the girl in anyway, nor am I trying to take away agency from her or belittle her for her age.  But the truth is a sexual act between an adult and a minor is illegal–and for a good reason.  

I’ve seen this post reblogged by a lot of Niall fans (I am also a Niall girl, ftr) with tags like “I’m over 18 and this never happened to me″ or “Girl shoulda lied and gotten that whiskey” or “At least it’s not Melly anymore” and each of those tags shocked me and made my skin crawl.  This young girl isn’t ‘lucky’ a much older man might’ve taken her home, regardless of his status as an international popstar.  She should not have lied to get a whiskey with him, just because he is an international popstar.  And regardless of your unreasonable dislike for a girl you don’t know aside from her involvement with your fave, it is not better to have a 14 year old girl preyed upon.  

This post is ‘interesting’ at best, but it isn’t funny.  It’s interesting that this site can make so many comments about the creepy, grooming-like nature of Kylie and Tyga but they can laugh about this.  No, Niall didn’t get with her. And no, it’s not her fault that she looked attractive, nor is it her fault that she looked older.  So I suppose it’s not Kylie/Tyga status. But laughing at this is like snapping your fingers and going, ‘oh, he was so close to tapping that! Close but no cigar!’ Being envious of her encourages the early sexualization girls experience. Telling her to lie dismisses that this is an actual issue and that all that matters is sexual validation from some guy.  

Also, to be clear, the fact that it’s Niall, your fave, doesn’t make it okay to throw away sexual standards for men.  Men in power shouldn’t be allowed to abuse their power (I’m not calling or implying that he’s a predator at all here either tho!!!).  That’s why I’m writing this post.  The fact that it’s Niall doesn’t mean I’m being harder on him than anyone else because he happened to be in the spotlight, either.  I’m this preachy in a lot of situations.  The thing is all men (Do Not ‘not all men’ me here) have this internalized sexual entitlement & propensity for female objectification that should be challenged. And I’m trying to do it in a way that doesn’t crucify them or anyone else who has accidentally fallen victim to poor societal messages.

I’m not mad at anyone in particular. I didn’t list names or links because I don’t feel the need to call-out, be under fire, or put anyone under fire.  I honestly don’t think anyone meant any harm by their posts or tags on this situation.  But my issue is not just the situation itself but also how we’ve reacted to it as a community? 

If you think I’m being touchy, or reading too much into it, I might be? But I’m not sorry because any touchy response I may have is because it’s such an overlooked issue in our society. And I’m not going to apologize for that much because I saw it as an opportunity to talk on something that’s bothering me in our media lately. If you wanna have healthy discourse on the topic of early pubertal development in genders, or in the hypersexualiation of our media, I’m totally open to it!  

But my bottom line is that I don’t get why this situation is funny at all and, to me, it only highlights how extensively inherent poor sexual socialization must be in our society and community.

May 14 2015



Stoners: Taurus, Pisces

Preps: Virgo, Libra

Emos: Cancer, Capricorn

Class Clown: Gemini, Sagittarius

Jocks: Aries, Leo

Rebels: Scorpio, Aquarius

Populars: Leo, Libra

Shit Talkers: Gemini, Virgo, Libra

Valedictorians: Virgo, Capricorn

Smart but doesn’t care about grades: Gemini, Scorpio, Aquarius

Artists: Taurus, Cancer, Pisces

Hipsters: Virgo, Aquarius

Skaters: Aries, Sagittarius

Bullies: Aries, Capricorn

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Well, that’s the plan for tomorrow. Let’s see how that works.

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How are these the same people????

weird things anxiety causes you to do:




  • go 40 minutes without blowing your nose when you have a cold so you don’t have to loudly blow it in front of a group of people
  • use extremely dull pencils because you don’t want to sharpen them because that is also loud
  • not order what you actually want to eat because people might think it’s strange
  • not wear the clothes you want to wear
  • wear the clothes you want to wear and then spend the whole day worrying that everyone is judging you
  • put down every accomplishment you have ever made for fear of being looked at as different

-hold your pee for 4 hours because you’ve never been to this house before 

-go without food rather than eat in the cafeteria because you’re afraid someone will judge you for eating alone  

-show up to class 20 minutes early so you can be the first person to sit down 

-panic for the next 15 minutes that you’re in the wrong room because nobody else has shown up  

-wander around a building for half an hour waiting for someone else to open the door of the classroom you need to be in because it might be locked and then you look dumb for trying to open it

-think “is there even the slightest chance of regretting saying/doing this” before saying/doing anything and usually deciding to not

-not being able to sleep night because of that on edge feeling and/or a pounding heart

-have anxiety symptoms/an attack while trying to tell someone about your anxiety symptoms/attacks

I tend to forget it’s only Friday because yesterday was some kind of holiday, lol.

Anyway, what I was trying to say - I’m gonna get my hair cut today (uh, again!)
My hair’s damaged already and I thought about chopping off 5-7 centimeters, so it’s at shoulder length :)


If you’d like a copy of No Control on Sunday and can’t buy it yourself for whatever reason (I seriously don’t care) hit me up off anon with your email address and I’ll put on my list to get one. I’ve got fifty bucks to spend on the project and god knows as much as I love the song, I don’t need that many myself.

Likewise If you are a fellow adult with a grown persons income and can spare a couple extra bucks for some donation copies, let me know and I can pass on spill over people to you.

I remember being a teen/young adult and very often not even having one dollar to spend and there ain’t no shame in that and I’m sure there are plenty of others who will buy a copy for you so you can participate!

Lastly, lol at those of you accusing me of being Harry because I’m gonna gift copies of No Control. Pretty sure he’d give out more than fifty bucks worth! Ha!

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I cry. I laugh. I hurt. I smile.

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@tylerrjoseph: josh is unlit

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s/o to all the boys with big hips and squishy thighs, soft tummies, stretch marks, rolls, cellulite and every other thing that you think is wrong with your body. your body is normal and it is beautiful.

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i am eternally anti-shinran fight me


let’s play a game called is this normal female-female interaction or is she flirting with me because i have no idea and i’m not straight enough to ignore this


does zayn fully comprehend that he has two grown ass hoes fighting over him for millions of people to see like while he’s sat back minding his own business does he ever just stop to look at his hands and think “……..the power” 


“travel. don’t worry about the money, just go”

oh phew, here I was thinking I’d have to pay for the plane ticket and transportation and food and lodging and a passport and getting back home or visiting any areas of interest while traveling that require money

guess not, what luck


person: how are you
me: *checks my mood ring* im normal & nervous


i want to be in a band so bad it’s actually killing me. like just the thought of being in a van with my best friends, traveling across the country and making music that has the potential to inspire people to do the same thing could actually send me to the grave

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